Spouse as Teammate: How to Plan Together for Bad Days

Most people think about self-defense as a solo problem: “What would I do?”

In real life, you’re usually with the people you care about most. “Spouse as Teammate” is our manual for turning couples into a coordinated team instead of two people improvising under stress. This page provides the public summary.

What “Bad Days” We Plan For

The manual walks couples through realistic scenarios, such as:

  • A suspicious person at the door late at night

  • Possible break-in at home

  • Road-rage encounters while driving together

  • Disturbances in apartments, parking lots, or public places

  • Medical emergencies, fires, or other urgent events

  • Violence in public locations like church, restaurants, or malls

Key Planning Areas

1. Shared mindset
Moving from “solo hero” thinking to team roles with one mission: keep everyone alive and get to safety when the law allows.

2. Communication under stress
Using short, clear commands (“Take the kids to the bedroom,” “Call 911 and stay on”) instead of long, confusing sentences or arguments.

3. Roles and safe rooms at home
Defining who moves kids, who calls 911, what the primary safe room is, and how to barricade and report information to dispatch.

4. Rendezvous points in public
Agreeing on “If something happens here, we meet there” plans for malls, churches, events, or busy venues.

Who This Helps

  • Couples where one partner carries and the other doesn’t

  • Families with kids who need simple instructions

  • Households that want practical planning without fear-mongering

We use this material in CCW classes, private coaching, and church security training to help families create realistic, calm plans instead of vague promises to “figure it out.”